The weather has changed and there are so many things I want to do around my house but I can’t seem to find the strength to motivate myself to do any of it. I’m waiting for my husband to arrive so that we can plan and decide together what things to do. The most difficult thing for my husband and I recently has been watching another couple who we know get approved for a visa and we’re still waiting for ours. On the surface it seems so unfair that they were able to move through the process with no issues. Their process took less than a year to complete so we started six months ahead of them and he’s already here while we are still waiting. I spent almost a week looking at things from the surface level and falling deeper and deeper into my personal hole each day. I fell into this cycle which I’ll refer to as the wash, rinse and repeat cycle. That’s where I go through the motions of each day. You know, wake up, shower, get dressed, eat, go to work, eat, go home, sleep. Going through each day holding in all my emotions because everything was right there at the surface. As I encountered people who know of my present struggles with the visa I pray that they don’t ask me how it’s going because I don’t want to unleash all the frustrations on them like a tidal wave. I stayed in this place for the better part of a week. I had my daily talk with God throughout this process.
One day I received the gentle reminder I needed from the universe. I encountered an acquaintance who stopped to chat and she asked me how things were going. Just as I was about to unleash all those emotions and begin to complain to her about my husband not being here with me etc. I was reminded that she had lost her husband within the past year, so I kept all those negative thoughts to myself and silently thanked God that my husband was still here. Then I encountered another woman who asked me how things were going and before I began to complain I remembered that she’s single right now so I thought better of complaining about being all alone in my house right now.
I slowly began to see gentle reminders everywhere I went that I was just looking at things from the surface level and I needed to dig deeper. First I started off by taking a mental inventory of all of my blessings. That took me almost a full week. Yes I have been very blessed and I had lost sight of it for a minute. Then I started to think about how things will change when my husband does arrive and I realized that although I've been waiting for him to come for several months now I wasn't really ready for him to be here yet. Once I realized that I sprung into action taking care of things I needed to in order to prepare for him to come. One of the first things I did was hang up our wedding picture. It's been sitting in the corner for months wrapped up and I decided that it needed to breath so I unwrapped it and hung it up myself.
I've
been busy really getting ready for his arrival and along the way I'm amazed at
all the things I hadn't realized that I needed to attend to before his
arrival. So now I'm at the point where I feel like I'm within 24 - 48
hours of being ready for him to be here meaning that the remaining preparations
would only take me 24 - 48 hours to complete once I know he's on his way.
I told my husband the other day that when we first got married I was there with
him so that we could learn to live together as husband and wife. Now we
are learning to live apart as husband and wife so that when we are back
together again we will appreciate that time together even more.
As much as I want him here like right now it will happen when the time is right. I'm learning to heed the words found in Psalm 27:14 Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.
As much as I want him here like right now it will happen when the time is right. I'm learning to heed the words found in Psalm 27:14 Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.
Prayer is powerful so please keep us in prayer.
