Deep thoughts

No matter where you are in the world right now, chances are your life has in some way been impacted by the Corona virus.  Here in Pennsylvania where I live today our governor issued a stay at home order and schools have been closed indefinitely.  We have entered into unfamiliar territory in all aspects of our lives.  Kids out of school, parents working from home or out of work, businesses closed, churches closed and streaming services.  There are more questions than answers.  Everyone  has been impacted in some way by this pandemic.  My heart aches for the children who are struggling to understand what's  happening, not understanding why they can't see their friends.  The students who were looking forward to proms, and graduation ceremonies.  Parents please take a minute to talk to your children about how they are feeling.  Business owners, investors and salespeople who had big plans for 2020.  Couples with wedding plans or expecting children.  Things have been completely turned upside down.  We all need to be patient and realize that it's not going to fix itself over night. 

Maybe it's just me but things on social media have been a little different lately.  I've noticed a little less bickering about political differences and more collaboration.  We have DJ's hosting virtual dance parties, musicians hosting impromptu concerts, some amazing face time collaborations.  People are banding together to share positive messages, prayers, pictures of hearts, beaches and landscapes to flood our timelines with positive images and messages to get our minds off of the news occasionally. We're checking in on each other, hosting virtual happy hours, date nights and my family has started family check in's via zoom.  Teachers are driving through the neighborhoods of their students to let them know that they're missed. 

These are all wonderful things, all proof that there is still some humanity in the world.  However none of those things take away from the seriousness of this pandemic.  We all need to listen to the authorities and follow their advice and guidance in order to slow the spread as quickly as possible.  Many people are expressing the sentiment that they are "stuck" at home.  No my friends we are safe at home right now.  Let's attend to all of those things we didn't have time for before because we were too busy doing things outside of our homes.   

On the other side of this pandemic what will the world look like?  How will this impact how we live our lives moving forward?  Those are questions that we cannot answer but maybe you've thought about them?  During times like this with so much uncertainty it's best to stay focused on the things happening around you that you can control.  Worry is truly a waste of energy when it's truly out of your hands.

I haven't spoken to anyone yet who isn't feeling some type of anxiety over what's happening right now.  Although no one really knows what's going to happen I think it's safe to say that things will probably never be as they were.  We are all being forced to examine ourselves on every level possible right now.  We're being tested in unimaginable ways.  It's because of this fact I implore you to seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed, extremely frustrated, angry and/or sad.  I've seen articles talking about the increase in both child abuse and domestic violence over the past few weeks.  Some predict a surge in births in nine months where others expect the already high divorce rate to skyrocket. No one really knows but during this difficult, stressful time take a moment to acknowledge your feelings and seek help. 

If you're interested in learning more about how to journal leave a comment or visit my website to contact me via email.   I recently finished my how to journal book titled Journaling for Self-Care for young adults.  It will be released to the public in the coming months.  Stay tuned. 

I'm sharing a link below of a therapist that is talking to as many people as she possible can via phone during this confusing time.  Reach out today or refer a friend.

 www.empowermentinsights.com

Social distancing - Week 1

Well I'm sure that many of you are still trying to find your way through all if this madness.  Kids home from school.  You are (if you're lucky) working from home.  Sounds great right?  HA HA well I'm sure most of you have already lost that loving feeling for your loved ones at least once.  Listen it's hard to adjust especially when something like this is thrust upon you with little to no notice and you had no choice.  I'm having my own struggles with all of this but I'm not going to get into that.  I want to try my best to remain positive and share some things that might help.

We're all having all types of emotions about what's going on.  Sometimes it's  hard to express those even to your closest friends because you don't want to expose yourself or feel vulnerable or maybe you're supposed to be the strong one.  Whatever your situation is everyone has feelings and it's never a good idea to try to hide them or push them aside.  My advice, not that you asked but during tough times like this you have to remember to take care of yourself.  I know it's probably hard to think about how to do that when you've got so much on your plate but all those people who you're caring for and who are depending on you?  Where will they be if you can't anymore?  During stressful times it's best to take a minute for yourself.

Think about this.  We've all been sent home in order to stop this virus from spreading.  What if there's an even bigger reason?  Most of us are so busy doing things outside of the house that we typically don't spend a lot of time together at home with our families.  Now that we're being forced to we're finding it a little uncomfortable.  I'm not saying you don't love your families, I know you do.  Well I hope you do lol.  Seriously though maybe this new routine has you in a space that you've never been before.  Maybe you're feeling new things or maybe you're learning new things about yourself, your significant other and your kids.  Maybe you're also learning your true value or worth in the eyes of your employer or colleagues, friends and other family members.  I think we all need to take this time to  take care of our own house. 

I listened to a few sermons on Sunday and one Pastor said we all need to take inventory.  I agree with that 100%, own it all. The good stuff, the difficult stuff, the angry stuff.  All of your stuff.  Along with stuff coming at you from your significant others or kids.  Take inventory of your feelings.  I'm a writer so my suggestion is to write down how you feel.  Yes, like on paper with a pen or a pencil.  I'm sure you're been spending way too much time on social media so put the phone, tablet, laptop down, step away from the computer.  Find yourself a quiet space (if possible) and relax for a few minutes.  Take time to sit with your feelings.  Write down how you're feeling, let it all out, pour it onto the paper.  Sometimes that's all you need to do is to recognize the feelings, yes your feelings want to be heard and acknowledged too.  Sitting with  your feelings and just allowing yourself to feel whatever it is is very therapeutic.  Now once you do that depending on the feelings you might need to take things a step or two further, but you'll know if just getting the feelings out was enough to relief some pressure or if you might need a little more. 

During this extremely stressful time we are all living through right now there are many resources available online to get help.  If you're employed you might be able to contact your employers EAP line to talk to someone.  I'm not a therapist or counselor I'm just someone who has been through some things over the years and I'm sharing how I've managed to cope.  Writing is my outlet.  Maybe for you it's reading, or painting.  You know what works well for you and again if prior methods aren't working for you.  Please ask for help.  You're not alone and there's no shame in asking for a little help.
Sharing link with you to a Facebook page where we've posted some helpful links from others to help during this stressful time.

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLifeEsteem/

Until next time please my friends practice social distancing until the authorities tell us it's okay to socialize again.

Terri D

Don't Blink

January 2020 seemed to have lasted forever but February 2020 flew past.  I feel like I blinked and it was gone.  It’s been a very emotional time for a number of reasons.  The untimely death of Kobe Bryant affected many people all over the world for so many reasons.  He was one of the greatest basketball players of all time BUT he was also so many other things to so many people.  I can’t say that I was a Kobe fan per se.  I knew of him of course, I watched him play but wasn’t really aware of many aspects of his life that are now being talked about.  Two very special people in my life were affected by his passing, my youngest daughter, Jennifer is one of the biggest basketball fans I’ve ever known.  She loves the game and although the Spurs are her favorite team, she felt the sting of losing Kobe very deeply.  My husband who also loves the game of basketball grew up watching Kobe and actually refers to him as his childhood hero.  I knew that once he heard about this tragedy he would also mourn his loss very personally. To see so many people mourning him has been difficult to watch and maybe for some even harder to handle all the why’s.  My heart aches for his wife Vanessa because I cannot imagine her pain and suffering right now. 

My hometown of Harrisburg, PA is now mourning the loss of an Icon, Vera Cornish recently passed away and when the news broke of her death my social media was on fire.  So many people had been touched by her place in our community.  Although I wasn’t a close personal friend of hers I know Vera and we interacted many times over the years I’ve lived here.  Most recently was last year at an event where we were both vendors selling our books.  Although Vera wasn’t a celebrity like Kobe the similarities of the response of the news of her death and his hit home for me.  They were both loved by so many people from so many different backgrounds, races, cultures, etc.  The one thing I noticed immediately after Kobe’s death was how his death and the mourning and grief spanned all ethnic backgrounds, political beliefs etc.  Everyone loved Kobe.  I see now that everyone in this small town of Harrisburg, PA loved Vera as well.  This is proof to me that we can all come together and agree on something.  We don’t have to constantly be divided by our skin color, political views, social or financial status.  In the face of tragedy or grief we can all just be human beings.  That’s what I love, those little glimpses of how things could be if we all just took a minute and thought about it.  It’s okay to look different and have different ideas and beliefs.  We can disagree on things and still agree that we’re all human and all deserve the basic rights and respect from one another.

I titled this post don’t blink because it all goes by so fast, life that is.  We’re all shocked by the sudden death of someone who we thought should still be here.  We take a brief moment and think about our own mortality but honestly most don’t think about it long enough to actually do anything about it.  There’s really nothing you can do to prevent death and we never know when it’s coming but what you can do is make sure that you make your life count for something.  Everyone won’t be famous like Kobe or even as well known in  your own little towns as Vera was in Harrisburg, PA but that doesn’t mean that you or your legacy can’t mean something.  What’s really sad is that oftentimes people die and they never really knew how we felt about them.  Why is it so easy to tell people how much they meant to you when they’re dead but you didn’t tell them when they were alive?  

I feel like my life has been changed so much in 2020, in so many ways and it’s all good.  I’m continuing to enjoy my participation in the Crown Holders Sisterhood group which was created by Ella Curry.  I’m interacting with many woman I’ve never met but we all share something in common, we’re driven to pursue our dreams.  I’m getting things done that I didn’t even know I needed to do.  I’ve gotten back to planning my time and sticking to those plans as much as possible.  I’m examining my connections and making tough decisions as to how I move forward with or without some of them.  I’m choosing to be more strategic in my relationships.  To spend more time with those who pour into my cup, not just take out of it.  I’m a giver by nature but I’m learning that my cup will always be empty if I don’t make sure it’s getting replenished on a regular basis.  If it’s not bringing me peace, it must go.

This coming month, March is bringing with it many new opportunities.  I'll be staring a new job, My non profit will officially have office space, I'm picking up the keys tomorrow.  I have several projects in the works which I expect to complete within the next month.  I’m going to be busy but productive and I'm expecting tremendous growth through it all.