Blessings

As I prepare for the release of my 2nd novel I’ve been thinking about what’s next for me in my writing career.  I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the characters I created in Yesterday’s Lies and Today’s Truth and trying to decide if I am finished with them or not.  I feel so connected to them as I should since I created them.  I am not sure that I am ready to let them go.  Several people who have read Yesterday’s Lies have asked me if the character Toni was me.  I laughed and said absolutely not but the more I think about it maybe she is me or I am her. In Yesterday’s Lies Toni is the single one who is looking for love and it always seems to pass her by.  She’s looking for something in someone else that lives within herself.  I occurred to me recently that I too have been searching for something outside of myself that has been within me the entire time.   I realized that I have been so blessed already in my life.  The proof is all around me but I keep looking past what is right in my face for something else.  I’m not beating myself up about it because a lot of people do the same thing.  Sometimes our blessings are not what we receive but what we give.  I am starting to realize that my blessings are of the giving kind not the receiving.  For example I have this amazing voice which is truly a gift from God.  When I sing I feel so close to God.  I cannot explain the feeling I get personally and I know that my voice touches others and moves them in a similar way.  At work I am in a position to counsel and motivate people and I am usually able to do that.  Again I feel this is a gift or a blessing.  My writing is not for everyone but many have been touched and inspired by it.  I feel like the ceiling fan that was working in reverse.  I’ve been pulling negative energy in, fighting myself when I should be pushing positive energy out.  I am supposed to be sharing my essence, my blessings with those around me who are willing to receive it.

Audio Postcard for Yesterday's Lies

Listen to my audio postcard to find out more about Yesterday's Lies. http://www.audioacrobat.com/note/C82S1yRQ

My thoughts on change and success

I feel that I am capable of change and typically once I set my mind to something I go full steam ahead.  I am an all or nothing type of person.  The hard part for me is making up my mind to make the change.  As for success I am very confident in my ability to be successful.  I have had many successes in my life and when I think about the times when I haven't been able to be successful at something.  I can tie it back to my attitude about what I was doing.  Also sometimes I feel that I expect too much of myself, and at times I spread myself too thin.  Back to change.  I need to constantly remind myself that my change doesn't automatically mean that others will change.  The scary part is knowing that with change it can sometimes mean that people or things you were used to will not longer be a part of your life. Letting go is sometimes very hard.

Infidelity

I wonder if infidelity hurts more if the person who betrayed you is still alive or if its worse if they are dead before you find out about the cheating? I recently went to the movies to see the movie The Descendants with George Clooney. I was a very emotional movie. The long and short of the movie is that George Clooney's wife is in a boating accident and ends up in a coma. While in the coma just as the doctor tells him she's not coming out of it he finds out that she was cheating on him. Fortunately she had a living will so he did not have to make the decision to keep her alive or not. George's character was shocked and hurt but as portrayed in the movie it seemed worse because he couldn't confront his cheating spouse and get answers to the one question that was burning within him... WHY???
It brought me back to Jada one of the main characters in my books Yesterday's Lies and Today's Truth. Jada's husband David Jr. cheated on her but she has no idea and he is now deceased. Her friends are doing everything they can to keep the truth from her. If the truth is revealed to her now it will be a year since he died. Will the pain be more or less because he is dead? Check out Today's Truth coming May 2012 to see how Jada reacts when Yesterday's Lies become Today's Truth.

Woman's Sojourn group - My expectations

I joined a women's group called Woman's Sojourn and one of our first exercises was to write what our expectations are of the group. This is what I wrote:

I expect to meet new woman, sister friends that I can share my life experiences, learn and group with. I am looking for new ways to connect with myself, find inner peace. Also I am looking for ways to enhance my physical and spiritual health. I have been carrying around a lot of junk and I hope this ends up being somewhat of an emotional and spiritual spring cleaning for me. On the other side of this I hope to have a clearer view of what my life purpose or goal is.

Friendship

The characters of Yesterday’s Lies have known each other since childhood and consider themselves the best of friends. They all believe they are doing the right thing by keeping secrets and hiding the truth from each other. Each person justifies their actions because they are doing it out of love for their friend. They each keep their own secrets not realizing that their friends are also hiding truths to spare their feelings.

One selfless act by Benjamin that seems to save the life of his good friend, David ends up having a profound impact on both of their relationships and lives forever. They both learn the hard way that secrets have no time limit. When the time comes for David to do the right thing in order to spare Benjamin's relationship secrets from the past start to unravel the consequences could be life changing for the both of them.

Jada and Toni are very close and they boast about how much they share with each other. Most of their friends and family consider them the textbook definition of best friends. Their friendship has survived High School, College and well into their adult lives. However when secrets from the past start to become known they are both left wondering exactly how close they really are.

Yesterday’s Lies will leave you asking yourself how well you know your friends and how far would you to protect them. As the story unfolds, it has many twists and turns but in the end you will ask yourself does being a true friend mean being dishonest and hiding the truth because it might hurt the ones you love.