Blessings

As I prepare for the release of my 2nd novel I’ve been thinking about what’s next for me in my writing career.  I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the characters I created in Yesterday’s Lies and Today’s Truth and trying to decide if I am finished with them or not.  I feel so connected to them as I should since I created them.  I am not sure that I am ready to let them go.  Several people who have read Yesterday’s Lies have asked me if the character Toni was me.  I laughed and said absolutely not but the more I think about it maybe she is me or I am her. In Yesterday’s Lies Toni is the single one who is looking for love and it always seems to pass her by.  She’s looking for something in someone else that lives within herself.  I occurred to me recently that I too have been searching for something outside of myself that has been within me the entire time.   I realized that I have been so blessed already in my life.  The proof is all around me but I keep looking past what is right in my face for something else.  I’m not beating myself up about it because a lot of people do the same thing.  Sometimes our blessings are not what we receive but what we give.  I am starting to realize that my blessings are of the giving kind not the receiving.  For example I have this amazing voice which is truly a gift from God.  When I sing I feel so close to God.  I cannot explain the feeling I get personally and I know that my voice touches others and moves them in a similar way.  At work I am in a position to counsel and motivate people and I am usually able to do that.  Again I feel this is a gift or a blessing.  My writing is not for everyone but many have been touched and inspired by it.  I feel like the ceiling fan that was working in reverse.  I’ve been pulling negative energy in, fighting myself when I should be pushing positive energy out.  I am supposed to be sharing my essence, my blessings with those around me who are willing to receive it.