Dominican Housewife Chronicles - Food fights

This is a picture that was taken this week on the beach.  The huge lobster that I am holding wasn't caught by me or my husband.  We were simply at the beach and the fishermen bring in their catches of the day and try to sell them to the people on the beach.  We did not purchase the lobster but we did purchase a couple of fish that we very good.



I am happy to report that I completed an entire cycle of laundry all by myself.  I got it done in less than 3 hours and there were no issues with the drying of the clothes.  WOO HOO!!! However I have to confess ya'll it's really hard work.  I love being here with my husband but I really miss my washing machine and dryer from the United States.

Okay so I've mastered this laundry thing and can hold my own in the kitchen.  So I'm wondering what's next?  Well now it seems that the gecko's have decided to move into my house.  Well that's a huge problem for me.  I do not entertain bugs or creatures in my house at all ever.  I have seen these little creatures scurrying about outside but until recently I had never seen one in the house.  This week alone since my last post I have seen three, 2 alive and one dead in the house and this little guy in the picture below trying to sneak in through the kitchen window.   It drives my husband absolutely nuts every time I scream when I see one of these or any other critters in or around the house.

Last night I had a scare with my husband.  We had a great day.  He stayed home from work because his stomach was upset in the morning.  When things got better in the afternoon we went to the beach.  We sat and enjoyed the scenery, drank frozen cocktails and bough fresh fish from the fisherman who frequent the beach.  Clouds began to move in so we decided to come back to the house to wait the storm out.  It actually never rained and we then left the house again around 7 pm to go to his baseball game.  They played two games and it was around 11 when we finally got back to the house.  On our way home from the game we stopped at a food truck alongside the road and at first I didn’t want anything because food trucks are iffy for me in the United States so I can only imagine what shenanigans might come from eating from one here in the DR.  My husband ordered and so did his friends that were riding with us.  I was really hungry so while I watched the others start to eat I was thinking about what I had at the house that I could make quick at 11 at night.  My husbands food was finished and he came over to where we were sitting.  He offered me some and well lets just say he never got it back.  He ended up having to place another order.  This is payback from the popcorn LOL.  I have no idea what I was eating but it was good.  There was chicken in it, fries and cheese.  Anyway so we get home and both finish eating and then we decide to season the fish that we bought so we can have it for dinner tomorrow.   My husband is one of the messiest people in the kitchen I’ve ever known.  He cleaned and cut the fish and then we seasoned it.  When I tell you there was fish parts everywhere in that kitchen when he was done I am not lying.  Of course he walks away from the mess his excuse is that he needs to use the restroom.  I start cleaning up the kitchen and put the fish away.  My husband walks out a few minutes later rubbing his back and with a very concerned look on his face.  He tells me that we need to go to the hospital.  He goes back to the bathroom and I follow him.  There’s blood in the toilet.  I know that he has kidney problems and I can tell that he’s in pain now and we need to go.  I start preparing to leave I consider this situation to be urgent and we need to leave ASAP.  Meanwhile my husband says he needs to take a shower which I can understand since he just played baseball for the past 4 hours and is covered in fish parts from cleaning and cutting the fish.  He goes into the bathroom and I hear him shaving.  I’m thinking okay I’m not sure that’s necessary but whatever.  I do finally hear the water running so he’s showering.  After his shower he starts to get dressed and decides that he needs to wear a shirt that needs to be ironed.  I’m rolling my eyes at this point, I mean I’m glad this isn’t an emergency or anything.  We iron the shirt.  I say we because I start to do it but obviously I wasn’t doing it right or fast enough because he comes in and takes over which was fine with me because I rarely iron and don’t really like doing it.  He’s dressed finally, approximately 45 minutes since he announced that we had to go to the hospital right now.  But now we have to do the hair.  Okay ya’ll this man’s hair is always on point.  The curls have to be popping.  10 minutes or so later his hair is done so now we can leave.  Even though he’s the patient he has to drive which is fine with me because I don’t like driving at night, especially here because the dogs run wild at night here.  There are dogs everywhere in the streets and they play chicken with no fear of the cars at all.

We arrive at the Brugal clinic.  I’m sorry but I just think this is funny.  I mean everyone here drinks Brugal like it’s water so to me going to the Brugal clinic seems like you’re getting IV’s full of rum LOL.  He gets checked in and immediately goes back to get treated.  I sit in the waiting area for about an hour with his niece and then finally his niece tells me that I can go back to see him.  I find my husband lying in a bed hooked up to a Brugal IV (Sorry I couldn’t resist) sleeping.  Okay all my mothers out there.  You know how when your kids are sleeping?  You look at them and how peaceful they are and you are filled with so much love?  Yep well it’s the same thing or at least it should be when your hubby is sick.  Seeing him lying there like that just did something to me.  Being a writer is a gift and a curse.  I joke with my one writer friend all the time about the curse because it means we’re very creative and we are usually thinking about all sorts of scenarios all the time.  For example as we were driving to the hospital last night I’m wondering what the process is to plan a funeral here.  I know that sounds morbid but I seriously thought about the fact that I had no idea what the process is and maybe I should know that because if something happens to my husband I will be responsible for planning everything right?  Anyway back to reality once the IV is finished we can leave and he is told to follow up with doctors tomorrow.  We finally get back to the house around 4 am.  I’m beyond exhausted.  He says he feels better but is still in some pain and now his arms hurts from the IV.

He sleeps fairly peacefully for a few hours and then he’s up and out of the house to go to his follow up appointments.  He tells me to stay here at the house while he goes for his various test and to cook because he will be hungry when he gets back.  I protested for about 30 seconds and then I remembered that cold hard chair I was sitting in last night for the better part of 3 hours and I quickly realized that staying here to cook was the better option.  I’m also slightly less concerned about him because he’s feeling better than he was last night.

I remember a previous post where I talked about having so much respect for housewives now than ever before.  Well this week I'm going to add a little twist to that.  Being a housewife is hard work but trying to do all the things a housewife does while her husband is at home sick is the absolute worst scenario.  I titled this weeks post food fights because when I look back on the week it seems like that is literally what we did everyday.   I’m really trying my best to be a good wife and not curse my husband the hell out, especially since he's been sick but he's trying my patience ya'll.  He got up this morning and left for his appt at 8 am.  Before he left he told me that he wanted me to cook beef today, okay well I assumed it was for dinner.  Anyway he leaves and I go about my day.  I make myself breakfast, I thaw out the meat and when the electricity in the kitchen comes on I put the meat in the crock-pot.  That’s how he likes me to cook it now.  Okay everyone news flash the crock-pot is a slow cooker right?  So that means it cooks things slowly.  Around noon my husband shows up and I’m here in my office working on my book and my blog.  He looks around and there’s no food on the table so he says.  "Where’s the food?  I’m hungry, no food all day".  I calmly get up and show him the crock-pot where the beef is cooking.    Then he looks over at the stove and says," NO Arroz (Rice)?"  OMG didn’t you tell me you didn’t want rice everyday anymore?  You had rice two days in a row so I was planning on making potatoes.  No he wants rice and he’s starving so I tell him I will make him a sandwich to hold him until everything is ready.  He says okay fine but make it two sandwiches because he’s starving.  While I'm fixing his sandwiches he tells me that he has to go back out in a little while to another appointment.  I need a few things from the store so I figure I'll run to the store quick since he's eaten the sandwiches and I can finish the beef and rice while he goes to his next appointment for dinner.  I go to the store and purchase what I need and when I return to the house he's got the rice already made and he's asking me if the beef is ready yet because he's still hungry.  LOL.  I talk to my daughter everyday and she told me that it seems that the only conflict my husband and I have at this point stems from food and she’s right.  If I cook he’s not hungry, if I don’t cook or it’s not finished cooking  yet he’s starving.  The good news is that even though there's some conflict at times there are also plenty of laughs and lots of love in our house.  Someone asked me if my husband can cook and the answer is yes,  He's actually a great cook and a lot of what I've learned about cooking for him has come from him.  At this point I want to do most of the cooking because practice makes perfect.  

This week was a great week because I got to the beach twice and both times my husband was able to accompany me.

Well I'm going to be in the United States for a couple of weeks so there may be a little bit of a lag in my post while I'm back stateside.  I hope you all enjoyed this weeks post and I look forward to reading your comments and feedback.

Dominican Housewife Chronicles (Believe)

This picture was taken in February of 2017.   This has always been one of my favorite pictures of us together.  Recently my husband shared with me that it was during this date when this picture was taken that he felt that he was starting to fall in love with me.  We got married in October 2017 three weeks shy of our one year anniversary.

This week had it challenges as I am still adjusting to married life in a foreign country with a man who doesn't speak English and I'm still learning Spanish.  As if marriage alone wasn't difficult enough to navigate when you add all of those other factors in it's no wonder I used the word challenges right?  LOL.  Although my husband and I do not speak each others language very well we've developed a unique way of communicating with each other while we are both working on learning the others language.  At this point my Spanish is much further along than his English but he's still working on it.  I think mine is much better because I've spent so much time here listening to Spanish all the time.

I titled this weeks post Believe because it's the title of one of my favorite songs and it's fitting based on my life right now.  At times I still wake up thinking that this was all a dream.  Whoever said that you will find love when you least expect it wasn't lying.  I was not looking for a husband, love or even a relationship when I met my husband.  Even though we couldn't communicate very well at all back then there was this connection between us from the very start.  OK enough with the warm and fuzzy stuff let's get into the real meat and potatoes of this thing.  I used the meat and potatoes metaphor because this week has been a series of communication and miscommunication about food.  In one of my previous posts I mentioned the issue with when he expects food to be ready each day well the saga continued this week but with a twist.  My husband who I think is pretty good shape has decided that hes getting too fat and he needs to go on a diet.  I'm not going to lie I was very annoyed at first because I've spent months learning how to cook Dominican food the way he likes it.  I'm finally comfortable in the kitchen and able to hold my own and now he's changing the script.  The one thing that we argued about awhile back was rice.  Well guess what ya'll?  Now that I can make a perfect pot of rice blind folded with my hands tied behind my back he's decided he doesn't want to eat rice anymore.  I was like really?  I love popcorn and usually have some at night as my snack after dinner and before bed.  Before I make it I ask him if he wants any so I know how much to make.  Last night I asked him if he wanted popcorn and he said no because he wasn't hungry.  Well check this out


That's him with his hand in the 2nd bowl of popcorn I made because he ate the first one.

I have to give a brief update on laundry this week.  I'm not going to lie ya'll I had to call for backup this week.  I called his niece who lives down the street to come and help me figure out where to hang the clothes to dry.  Well of course she came and just took over the entire clothes washing operation.  I was thankful for the help and with both of us we got it all done in about two hours.  I did end up having to go into the backyard to hang some of the clothes and of course while it was my turn to hang the clothes the clothes line decided to break (It was made of wood and the wood must have rotted).  I'm standing in the back yard yelling AYUADAME (HELP ME) in Spanish while trying to hold onto the clothes so they don't get dirty again.  I think next week I will be able to handle it myself I did learn a few tricks from her this week and I have a better idea of how to handle the drying process now.

Because it's such a challenge to communicate at times I think that sometimes my husband just decides it's easier not to and that leads to other problems.  For example the other morning I woke up around 6:15 to an empty house.  I remember feeling him getting out of bed and I assumed he was getting ready to go to work but when I heard the front door close and he hadn't come back into the bedroom to kiss me goodbye I knew something else was going on.  I get up and sure enough I see him driving off in the car.  I was instantly irritated.  A million thoughts and questions were going through my head.  I go back into the bedroom and I grab my cell phone and I send him a simple text that says Donde Estas (where are you)?  I investigate around the house and I determine that he hasn't gone to work early because his work clothes, shoes etc are still here.  So where could he be?  I attempt to lie back down but my mind is racing.  I'm getting angrier and angrier as each minute passes.  I'm on my cell phone checking the price for flights back home.  I'm mentally trying to determine if I can fit all of my things in the two large suitcases I have here with me.  About 45 minutes later my husband returns and once he realizes that I'm not asleep he comes into the room and I didn't have to say one word.  He could tell by the look on my face that I was not happy.  Obviously he hadn't checked his phone because as soon as he saw my face he reached into his pocket and looked at his phone.  He begins to explain in Spanish of course where he was, at the gym with his friend from work.  He signed up to join the gym because he's getting fat from my good cooking.  Ok ya'll I know that he threw that last part in there to soften my mood because I was on fire.  He showers and gets dressed for work and I'm still lying in the bed fuming but of course a little less angry because I have an explanation and he's okay.  Before he leaves for work he comes back into the room to give me a goodbye kiss and to assess my mood.  That's one thing I love about him he doesn't ever want me to be unhappy.  We will talk it out for as long as it takes until he feels that I'm happy.  There's no such thing as going to bed angry or leaving the house angry with us which is awesome.  We talk and I explain that I was upset because he didn't tell me he was leaving.  I didn't like waking up to him being gone and me not knowing where he was.   He said he understood and he apologized and promised it wouldn't happen again. Once he was satisfied that I was in a better mood, he left for work.  After he left for work I spent sometime with my feelings about the entire situation. While I was lying in the bed earlier wondering where my husband was and coming up with all types of scenarios I thought about my exit plan.  I'm ashamed to admit that but I did consider it and then it hit me that he's my husband, for better or for worse, no matter what.  This isn't just some casual relationship. It's not disposable.  It's until death do us part.  I grabbed my voice recorded the following thoughts:

Marriage is rough ya’ll.  You know if I’m being honest there have been a few times when I was like, what the heck was I thinking, why did I do this?  I want out.  I’m only three months in and there have been times when I thought that.  You know this is not my first marriage this is my third.  It occurred to me that if we treated marriage like motherhood or parenthood there would be a lot less divorces.  Because no matter how tired or irritated or frustrated you get with your children they are still your children and can’t leave them, you can’t divorce them.  So no matter how challenging marriage gets or frustrating you have to stay in there you gotta stick it out. You need to treat marriage like parenthood.  There will be ups and there will be downs.  There will be miscommunication.  There will be all kinds of things that you wish didn’t happen but at the end the  day just like with your children when you get through all of that other stuff you gotta get back to the love. You gotta get back to what made you want to be with this person.  What made you love them enough to stand before God and your friends or whatever the situation is and raise your hand up and take those vows.  That’s what you have to get back to all the time.  

I love pictures so when I need a reminder about why I'm here with him I go back and look at our pictures.  I also made a short video after we got married that I love and I often play it as a reminder of that day and how wonderful it was.  (I'm not sure if you will be able to view this video or not I've never attached a video here before.  Post a note in comments to let me know if you can see the video or not.)

Every day will not be a fairy tale like our wedding day.  In fact most days won't be a fairy tale but you have to press on through the tough stuff to get to the good stuff.