Reasons why

    In the past 6 months, I have been reminded time and time again that everything happens for a reason. When it's happening you may not understand the why but rest assured if you're paying attention eventually the reason why will be revealed to you. 

    Typically when we're asking why it's because something bad or painful has occurred and we want to know why we're being punished etc. Trust me, over the years I've asked a lot whys. I guess I'm at the point in my life where I can finally see or stop and pay attention to the answers to my whys. 

    People come into your life for a reason, and unfortunately, people also leave your life for a reason.  Sometimes the reason is about you, and sometimes it's about them.

    Sometimes the answer to the why doesn't come, and it's in those moments that it can be really easy to get stuck in that dark place of wondering. I'm here to encourage you to break out of that cycle by focusing on all of the good whys that happen every day that we never seem to question or spend much time thinking about.  We simply take all the good stuff for granted. 

    You applied for a job and didn't get it. You may ask, why not me? A little while later, an even better opportunity presents itself, and you are so overjoyed that you never take the time to consider that you didn't get the 1st job because something better was waiting for you a little further down the road.

    Maybe you met someone who you thought was the love of your life. You gave them your all, the very best of you, and ultimately they decided you were not the one for them. It's painful trust me I know but in the end, you must realize that sometimes the pain we feel is necessary in order to set up us for something even greater down the road. 

    For those rolling their eyes, let me challenge you to think about it this way.  If bad things continue to happen to you and you never get the "good" things or the reasons why maybe you might need to change some things in your life. I'm not an expert here just a woman who's sharing her thoughts based on my experiences. With that said when I found myself stuck in a never-ending cycle of bad experiences where the whys were not adding up I had to look at myself and ask some tough questions. What decisions am I making? Who's in my circle? Where am I placing my energy? There are so many more questions that can be asked depending on the circumstances. The point is to try to focus on the positive energy and not get stuck dwelling on the negative energy. If you do find yourself in a negative energy cycle for an extended period of time, it might be time to reboot. 

    Rebooting means different things to different people. For me, it means I need some time alone to sit with my thoughts and maybe write in my journal, create something like a new book cover, or start a new project. What works for me may not work for you, but it's important to know yourself well enough to know what you need and when you need it. 

    2023 is the year of self-care for me. That doesn't mean I'm being selfish it simply means that I am making an intentional effort to pay attention to my needs while doing what I can for others. If you need some help with finding your whys or how to reboot, visit my website www.authorterrid.com

Flow State

 

I think the weight of the past two weeks is finally catching up to me. My mom was in the hospital and it was a very stressful time for me. She is home now and doing well. She’s back to her normal routine after what seemed like a life changing experience. She needed oxygen to breath and ultimately a blood transfusion to bring her blood levels up to where they needed to be.

During her hospitalization I was responsible for many things that I don’t typically handle, my schedule wasn’t mine at all.  I was at the mercy of what everyone else needed from me. It wasn’t necessarily a problem since I like to help people but I guess now that I’ve had a minute to sit back, relax and think about everything I’m exactly where I always end up. Wondering who takes care of the person who takes care of everyone else? First and foremost I must be vigilant in my efforts to do everything I can to manage my own selfcare. I feel that I usually do but there are times when I need to be reminded that I also need a break.

A month ago I proudly proclaimed that in 2023 I wouldn’t be doing anything that I didn’t want to do. Well mom got sick and that went straight out of the window. Everyday I did many things that I would have liked to have said NO to but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to let mom down. Mom is the one person that I never want to disappoint. Trust me I have many times in my life and I’m sure there will be more disappointments because that’s life but I do try my best to not disappoint mom.

Please don’t mistake any of these words as complaining about anything. I truly am grateful for each and every day that I wake up. No my life isn’t perfect but who’s is? I’m happy with my life, I love my job, I love my apartment. School is going well this semester. Whew last semester and that math class almost took me out ya’ll. My current class which is called life by design is awesome.  It’s exactly what I need right now. Each week we are challenged to read or watch videos about various topics and then relate them to ourselves. It’s really about discovering who you are and who you want to be. It’s been great to go through the exercises and really ponder and meditate on the questions.

This brings me to my next point which is about how I am constantly reminded of how great God is. We often go through life missing all of the little special things or miracles that happen to us or around us but I am making a concerted effort to pay attention. Things and even people come into my life it seems to bring me something or a lesson that I needed to learn.  This cannot all be coincidence can it? I mean if it happens once or maybe twice I guess you could say yeah it’s just a coincidence. What about if it’s happened time and time again? So many times that you’ve lost count? Is that still coincidence? Everyone has their opinions but I know it’s not and that is why I am so thankful. That is why I have become so much more aware of those little things that just seem to happen and we don’t recognize them.

I started this tonight as a part of an exercise for my class. Writing is one of the things that brings me joy or as we’re discussing in my class this week it puts me in my “flow state.” When I’m writing whether it’s a journal entry, a blog post, or a fiction story I am in my zone. I can sit and write for hours at a time not realizing how much time has passed. All I need is a journal and a pen or a computer and a quiet room or my favorite CD which happens to be one by Dudley Moore, the soundtrack from my favorite movie Six Weeks. It’s classical piano music which takes me to a place that is hard to describe to others. Most people that I know wouldn’t understand it but that’s the beauty of it. It’s mine, my flow state so no one else is supposed to get it. Everyone has their own thing. This is mine. This is where I am my absolute happiest is when I’m writing. This is my “Flow State.”