Empty Spaces

Hello everyone.  Here's our most recent picture from my visit last week.
Time for an update so here goes.  This post is titled empty spaces because these days I’m constantly surrounded by empty spaces.  Back in November prior to our visa appointment I frantically cleaned out closets and drawers to make room for my husbands things.  Our appointment was on December 3^rd so I knew that he’d be home for the holidays.  Well it’s now over four months later and those spaces I cleared for him are still empty.  The space on his side of the bed, empty.  His side of the closet, empty.  The drawers I cleaned out for him, all empty.  The presents I had for him for Christmas are still wrapped and waiting for him to come open them.  They are still in the living room right next to where the tree had been.  Although these spaces are empty and I’m sad sometimes my heart is full.  Yes I’m angry at times because we seem to be stuck in this administrative processing cycle with his visa application, my heart is still full of love and hope. 

Update on the visa shenanigans is that more documents submitted on March 5^th and then again on April 2^nd.  Each time we receive the call or the email asking for more documentation it’s so frustrating.  I think this last time I cried for a solid hour.  Despite all of this I know that I am so blessed.  During the last snow storm I was in a particularly bad mood.  I was mad that I woke up alone and had to shovel the snow alone and drive to work in the snow alone (I hate driving in the snow).  I was texting my daughters and complaining about it all and my youngest daughter sent me this message:

Mom things aren’t exactly how you want them to be and I understand that but you have a lot to be grateful for.  You woke up today, you’re physically able to shovel because at some points in your life you weren’t able to.  You have a job to drive in the snow to be late to.  You have a husband that loves you like you’ve always wanted, even though he’s not physically with  you right now.

Upon  receiving this message from my daughter I had an instant attitude adjustment.  Of course everything she said was true but more than that I was so proud that my daughter was able to help me to remember just how blessed I was.  I’m keeping myself busy working, my new job is okay.  It’s kinda slow right now but I’m hopeful things will pick up soon.  I’m also helping my mother out with her parenting classes in the evenings so my schedule is busy.  Monday through Thursday I leave the house at 7 am and don’t return until around 9 pm.  It’s a hectic schedule but I don’t mind it much because being in the house alone for too much time allows me to focus on those empty spaces. 

I've also been focusing on helping my youngest daughter prepare for the birth of her baby boy, Cameron.  He's due May 13th but she's convinced that he's coming sooner.  We'll see. Here is a picture of us together at her baby shower a few weeks ago.  

I miss my husband very much.  These past few months have been a big adjustment for both of us.  Since we got married we had  never  been apart longer than a few weeks.  That’s changed now.  Over the holidays we were apart for five weeks and most recently we were apart for 8 weeks.  I’ve just returned from a  brief visit and at this point there are no plans for me to return.  We expect to submit the final requested documents and get approved for his visa so that he can join me here.

That's all for now.  I will try to stay in touch more often.

Thanks for stopping by.

Terri D.

Dominican Housewife Chronicles - Fresh start

Hello everyone.  It's been a few weeks so I thought it was time for an update.  The short version is we still do not have his visa. He's there and I'm here back in Pennsylvania.  You may recall that I retired from my career at a large health insurance company in April 2017 after 27 years of service.  When I walked out of the office on my last day I had no idea where I would end up but I felt confident that I could make the best use of my severance time (18 months).  Well here I am almost two years later and I'm once again retiring.  I've spent the past year or so being a Dominican Housewife and I'm hanging up my cleaning gloves (I don't wear an apron) and I'm headed back into the workforce tomorrow.  I have bittersweet emotions about this turn of events.  The sweet is that it's a new adventure and apparently according to those close to me I like adventure.  The bitter is multi faceted. 1) I miss my husband because he is still in the Dominican Republic dealing with all of the visa shenanigans.  After we submitted the requested additional documents in January we were asked to provide even more documentation.  It's very unsettling not knowing when I will see my husband again.  2) This isn't where I thought I'd end up.  3) I'm not giving up on my goals but I feel that I must be a responsible adult now and return to work.  No more playing in the sun and sand for me for a little while, but I will find my way back to it I promise you.

I will continue to write and blog of course.  I will also continue to grow my non profit, A Blessing For You. We are always in need of supplies so please spread the word and visit our website for more information or to make a donation www.ablessingforyou.org

This is a short update.  Please keep us in prayer and we remain hopeful that this visa situation will be resolved soon and he can join me here. 

Until next time be blessed.
Terri D

Dominican Housewife Chronicles - 2019 is here so now what?

Greetings my friends.  This is my first post of the new year.  This picture is the first picture that we took in the new year together when I returned to the Dominican Republic.

I purposely took off in January to reflect on all of my prior posts.  I didn't make any new year resolutions or start any fad diets (although I did join a new fitness club).  I started the year off with great expectations that January would be my month to build my plan and I would execute my plan throughout the year.  Well guess what y'all?  It's the first of February and well lets say there isn't really a plan yet.

I was in Pennsylvania for five weeks.  The longest period of time that I've ever spent away from my husband since we were married.  Did you know that everything you did in the prior year to get things organized and situated in your house could be completely undone in just 5 short weeks?  Yes my friends I am here to tell you that it's true.  Leave your husband alone for that period of time and you will be amazed at just how creative he can be.  I'm pretty sure he was planning on becoming a scientist based on what I found in the refrigerator.  It looked like a 6th grade science experiment gone horribly wrong LOL. 

I did get a lot accomplished during my time in Pennsylvania and it felt good but as for formulating a plan.  Well that part I'm still struggling with because I still feel that I'm in limbo.  We still do not have a visa for my husband yet and that my friends is the key to what the future holds for me and my husband.  Its hard to come up with a solid plan when you have no clue which country you are going to be in. I'm sure you can understand my dilemma.

So the update on the visa saga is that he finally obtained all of the additional documents and submitted them for review on January 24th.  Now we wait again for them to review everything and determine next steps.  We could be required to submit more documents, attend another interview or they can issue him a visa.  We have no clue when we will be notified of the outcome so again we wait.  You know I will keep you all posted on that.

My time here in the Dominican Republic is going to be short as I still have many obligations to attend to back in Pennsylvania.  A few things that are a part of my incomplete plan are continuing to write of course and working to secure more sponsors and donations for my non profit organization.  If you would like to learn more about my non profit or possibly make a donation please visit our website
www.ablessingforyou.org

Also to obtain a signed copy of my latest book titled Passport Wife or any of my other titles please visit my author website
www.authorterrid.com

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks again for stopping by and stayed tuned for more from your favorite Dominican Housewife.

Dominican Housewife Chronicles - Flight 2019 ready for take off

Hello Friends,

My final post in 2018 I would like to share these thoughts with you.  As 2018 comes to a close I think about the fact that I'm not exactly where I wanted to be right now but I'm also not where I was this time last year.  I'm not talking about my physical location I'm talking about my growth.  I look back over all the things that have happened in 2018 and there were losses, I lost friends and close friends lost loved ones and friends but there were also many gains, which I like to refer to as blessings.  Many family members and close friends welcomed new babies and grand babies into their lives.  Where there is loss there are also gains in life.  I think about how I spent 260 of 365 days this year in the Dominican Republic with my husband.  Although I've been very sad about not being able to spend Christmas and New Years with him this year I was so blessed to be able to spend the majority of the year with him.  This was our last picture together in 2018 the day before I left to come back for the holidays. 

 

As I said before I'm not exactly where I wanted to be but I am headed in the right direction.  I wish you all a Happy New Year and I do wish that you were all able to focus on the blessings and get your goals lined up for 2019 and start working on them as soon as you can.  I'm going to be spending more time with my mom working on our combined business goals. Here is a picture of mom and I from Christmas.

This was posted on Facebook by a friend of mine.  I borrowed it (with permission) and it received very good feedback so I thought I share it here with you as well.

Hello, welcome to Flight #2019. We are prepared to take off into the New Year. Please make sure your Attitude and Blessings are secured and locked in an upright position. All self-destructive devices should be turned off at this time. All negativity, hurt and discouragement should be put away. Should we lose Altitude under pressure, during the flight, reach up and pull down a Prayer. Prayers will automatically be activated by Faith. Once your Faith is activated you can assist other passengers. There will be NO BAGGAGE allowed on this flight. The Captain (GOD) has cleared us for takeoff. Destination GREATNESS. Repost and book your flight!!!❤️❤️ Yessssss I have already purchased my ticket! !!!!!!!! I'M BUCKLED IN AND READY FOR TAKEOFF!!!!

Dominican Housewife Chronicles - Remember to focus on the blessings

Hello All:

Well I'm headed back to PA for the holidays without my hubby.  Yes I'm a little sad about it but I'm remaining prayerful and positive, that he will join me shortly after the first of the year.  Last year we were able to spend the holidays together and it was nice.  I have always wanted to be on the beach for Christmas and last year I got my wish.  It was nice because I love the beach but honestly I missed being home with my children and grand babies. This year I have a new grand baby so I must be home this year to witness his reaction to his first Christmas (Picture enclosed).  He's only 6 months old now so it probably won't be much of a reaction LOL.  So yes I am flying back to the cold for the holidays when so many are seeking warm I'm purposely headed towards the cold. 

Although I won't get to be with my husband for the holidays this year I remain thankful for the fact that he's in my life period.  When I think of all the past holidays that I spent alone, without a mate or partner it's nice to know that even though he's not by my side, he's still in my life.  I recently posted this message on Facebook and I thought it deserved a re post here.

Life presents us with so many challenges on a daily basis.  It's easy to get caught up with those and focus on the one thing that went wrong.  While doing so we forget to be thankful for all of the other things that went right.

Things did not go as planned for me this month but there were so many unexpected blessings I received this year, heck in my life so I'm not going to pout about this one thing.  My husband is wonderful and he knows when I'm sad and he does everything he can to bring a smile back to my face.  Yesterday we spent the day together at the beach.  It was a wonderful day.  

So anyway my friends I wish you all Happy Holidays and if you haven't purchased or downloaded your copy of my book Passport Wife yet.  What are you waiting for?  Get yours today.  Here's the link. Passport Wife

If you would like a signed copy please visit my website here www.authorterrid.com and click on the contact me tab and send  your request.

Dominican Housewife Chronicles - To be continued

Hello my friends.  First I want to say Thank You to you all who sent messages of encouragement and for all of those who silently prayed for us.  This picture is from the night before our interview.  While we were in the capital we went to a baseball game.  My husbands team won and we had a great time. It was a great distraction for me because I was very nervous.

Unfortunately we still do not have a Visa for my husband.  We were not denied but there are additional documents required before they will issue a Visa for him.   I have to be honest I was devastated.  I did everything I thought possible to make sure we were prepared and had everything in order.  At was very disheartening to sit there at the embassy for over an hour and watch so many other couples leave smiling, kissing and holding hands.  Then when it was our turn for us not to have the positive outcome we desired.  I sank into a very deep dark place for a few days.  I mean I was in a very bad state.  I didn't leave the house for three days after we got back from the embassy.  Again I must say that my inner circle or my camp as I like to refer to them now is strong.  My family and friends would not allow me to stay in that  place.  The text messages,phone calls, Facebook posts etc that I received helped to bring me out of the low place.  I was reminded to think about all of my blessings and to not give up this fight because it's been a long journey and we are at the finish line. 

As I was slowly coming out of the funk I was in I realized that I had lost sight of what was truly important.  For the past couple of months I have been so focused on getting the interview date and then once we got the date I was so focused on making sure everything was prepared.  I missed enjoying my time here on this beautiful island with my husband.  I was reminded that when I took my marriage vows I didn't promise to love him only if he came to the United States.  I agreed to (in Spanish of course) some version of for better or worse.  So at the first sign of worse I was ready to crawl up in a ball and just give up.  Well my friends once I realized these things about myself and my attitude I was able to pull myself together and out of the deep hole I was in. Again it really helped to have so many people calling and checking on me.

While scrolling through Facebook yesterday I found this meme and it said everything I needed it to say.
I wasn't able to save the picture but it said: 

Sometimes the best thing that you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess.  Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

So my friends I may not return with my husband for Christmas as I hoped this year but all will be well and eventually he will join me in the United States.  Until then please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  

Dominican Housewife Chronicles - Prayer Warriors report for duty

Hello everyone - I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with your families.  I was in PA for the holiday and it was nice to be with my family eating good food and spending time with my grand babies.  We were missing a few, my son Steven is now in California and my sister and her crew went to visit her husband's family in Alabama this year.  So we had a smaller crowd but we still had a great time even though my Redskins lost.

In my last post I was feeling pretty defeated, hence the title in the valley.  A few days after that post we received notice about his interview date.  I didn't post anything about it prior to now  because honestly we've been so busy trying to get everything done in preparation for it and it's been a pretty nerve wracking few weeks..  So this post is titled Prayer Warriors report for duty because his visa interview is tomorrow, Monday December 3rd at 10:00 am.  This is the moment we've been waiting for.  To say that we are both excited and nervous would be putting it very mildly.  Nothing we've encountered up until we received our interview date three weeks ago compares to the challenges we've faced since getting our date.  When the email came through with our interview date we were both elated.  That feeling was quickly replaced with panic, confusion, anger and frustration just to name a few.  I truly believe that this process is built to test your resolve as a couple.  We had so many little hurdles thrown at us and encountered a few speed bumps along the way.  Although it was rough at times to get to this point I am happy to report that we are all ready.  We have about 24 hours to go and I'm optimistic that we're prepared and we will have a favorable outcome tomorrow.  We do need your help though.  Please all of my prayer warriors report for duty.  I need you all to raise your hands up high to the heavens and in your own way ask God to bless us and this interview tomorrow.  Send lots of prayers up so that the blessings will rain down on us tomorrow.

Just so you all know who you're praying for I've included a few pictures of our journey together as a couple.  From our very first picture together to the last one we took a short time ago.

This is the first picture that we took together back in February 2017.

One of our favorite pictures from our wedding day October 21st, 2017

This is the last picture that we took together November 3rd, 2018

Thanks everyone in advance for your positive thoughts and prayers.  I will certainly keep you all posted on the outcome.