Time is what you make of it.

I'm grateful for these moments.

 

Time is something that we all take for granted.  We never know how much time we have and yet we are always putting things off until later.  Saying I’ll get around to it or I’ll deal with it later.

In my lifetime there have been so many inventions and gadgets that are supposed to save us time but honestly, I think I have less time now than I did before.  Recently while visiting my cousin we talked about how the invention of the cell phone has its benefits for sure but also has its pitfalls.  She commented on how often she has noticed that when people are together in social settings they aren’t really spending time together, everyone is glued to their phone.  I admitted that I too am guilty of always being on my phone. 

I think it’s a natural thing for you to become more aware of time as you get older.  As your children grow up and go out on their own you might start to wonder where the time went.  In some cases, you might look back and wish you had done things differently or spent more time when you had the chance.  When a loved one passes away it’s normal to think about all the things we wished we had done or said to them before they left us.  If you’re reading this, it’s a good chance you’ve been following my journey with my husband.  This journey has really taught me the value of time.  You might be thinking I’m referencing the time we were able to spend together over the past two years, and yes, I do value that time but I’m actually beginning to focus more on the time we’re spending apart right now.  After many months of literally crying every day and complaining to everyone about it a switch finally flipped in my head one day and I realized that this time right now, with us being apart is very valuable time.  I wasn’t quite sure how to express it until today when I received an email from one of my daily devotionals.    It was titled the work you can do while you wait.  The premise for this devotional came from Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.    It talked about how our wait is never wasted.  It mentions a few well-known characters from the Bible and reviews how they worked while they waited for promised blessings.  I read and reread the entire email multiple times and each time I read I became aware of another reason why I’m currently in a waiting pattern.   There were and still are so many things that I needed to accomplish.  Having spent most of the past two years in the Dominican Republic there were many things back here in Pennsylvania that were neglected.  I’ve had time to take care of some of those things. 

I’ve been able to focus on preparing my house and myself for my husband’s arrival.  There was work that I needed to complete before his arrival and I needed to be able to provide more support to my mom as she continues to grow and expand on her vision for her business. Also my daughter needed me during the end of her high-risk pregnancy.  My grand babies need more MiMi time.  As I took a few steps back to see things from a wider angle it became very clear to me that there was a reason for this time.  Now that I’ve realized this the days are much easier to get through without my husband here with me.  Trust me I still miss him dearly, but I know that there’s purpose and I need to remain patient. 

This time apart has brought my husband and I closer together.  We talk more, and the conversations are deeper.  More than just how are you doing, what did you do today etc.  It’s amazing to me how he can just look at me and see my mood, happy, sad, tired or whatever.  He can see my sadness when those who I interact with everyday don’t seem to notice.  It’s easy to begin to overlook things or take things or someone for granted when they’re always there with you.  Once they’re gone that’s when you start to realize their absence and all the things they were doing to enhance your life. 

I’m taking this opportunity to slow down a bit and pay attention to all that is happening around me, trying to make the best use of this time.  Of course, I have no idea when this time alone will end or my time in general so I’m trying to make the very best of it.  I encourage you all to take some time to evaluate exactly how you are spending your time.  Is it worth it?  Only you can answer that.  Thanks for reading and I will keep everyone posted on our Visa journey.

Look beneath the surface

I’m usually brutally honest here with you all so why change now right?  The past few weeks have been really hard for me for a number of reasons.  I miss my husband more and more each day.  I'm here but not there and he's there but not here.  We are two heartbeats, one love in two different worlds right now.  Physically over a thousand miles separate us yet we seem to be closer than ever.  He's my peace in the middle of the storm and I'm his voice of reason when there seems to be none at all.  

The weather has changed and there are so many things I want to do around my house but I can’t seem to find the strength to motivate myself to do any of it.  I’m waiting for my husband to arrive so that we can plan and decide together what things to do.  The most difficult thing for my husband and I recently has been watching another couple who we know get approved for a visa and we’re still waiting for ours.  On the surface it seems so unfair that they were able to move through the process with no issues.  Their process took less than a year to complete so we started six months ahead of them and he’s already here while we are still waiting.  I spent almost a week looking at things from the surface level and falling deeper and deeper into my personal hole each day.  I fell into this cycle which I’ll refer to as the wash, rinse and repeat cycle.  That’s where I go through the motions of each day. You know, wake up, shower, get dressed, eat, go to work, eat, go home, sleep.  Going through each day holding in all my emotions because everything was right there  at the surface.  As I encountered people who know of my present struggles with the visa I pray that they don’t ask me how it’s going because I don’t want to unleash all the frustrations on them like a tidal wave.  I stayed in this place for the better part of a week.  I had my daily talk with God throughout this process. 

 One day I received the gentle reminder I needed from the universe.  I encountered an acquaintance who stopped to chat and she asked me how things were going.  Just as I was about to unleash all those emotions and begin to complain to her about my husband not being here with me etc. I was reminded that she had lost her husband within the past year, so I kept all those negative thoughts to myself and silently thanked God that my husband was still here. Then I encountered another woman who asked me how things were going and before I began to complain I remembered that she’s single right now so I thought better of complaining about being all alone in my house right now.  


I slowly began to see gentle reminders everywhere I went that I was just looking at things from the surface level and I needed to dig deeper.  First I started off by taking a mental inventory of all of my blessings.  That took me almost a full week.  Yes I have been very blessed and I had lost sight of it for a minute.  Then I started to think about how things will change when my husband does arrive and I realized that although I've been waiting for him to come for several months now I wasn't really ready for him to be here yet.  Once I realized that I sprung into action taking care of things I needed to in order to prepare for him to come.  One of the first things I did was hang up our wedding picture.  It's been sitting in the corner for months wrapped up and I decided that it needed to breath so I unwrapped it and hung it up myself.  

I've been busy really getting ready for his arrival and along the way I'm amazed at all the things I hadn't realized that I needed to attend to before his arrival.  So now I'm at the point where I feel like I'm within 24 - 48 hours of being ready for him to be here meaning that the remaining preparations would only take me 24 - 48 hours to complete once I know he's on his way.  I told my husband the other day that when we first got married I was there with him so that we could learn to live together as husband and wife.  Now we are learning to live apart as husband and wife so that when we are back together again we will appreciate that time together even more.
As much as I want him here like right now it will happen when the time is right.  I'm learning to heed the words found in Psalm 27:14 Wait patiently for the LORD.  Be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

Prayer is powerful so please keep us in prayer.

Rainbow after the storm

July 9th, 2013 is a day that my family will never forget.  It's the day my youngest daughter gave birth to her first son, Camden, he was a stillborn born at 21 weeks.  The almost six years since then have been a difficult journey for my daughter but I am so happy to report that on May 8th 2019 she got her rainbow baby.  A healthy baby boy, Cameron was born.  Born just four days before Mother's Day his birth has shone a bright light on a very dark place.  I think that must be why they are called rainbow babies, the babies born after the loss, because they bring such joy to the parents. 

Today my daughter shared this on her Facebook page:

For the past 6 years Mother’s Day has always been difficult for me remembering the loss of my first son. I felt like part of my heart was gone and I would never truly be happy again. As I sit here now I wonder why I ever doubted God, it’s been so very hard all these years but he heard my cries and prayers and loves me so much that he blessed me with my second beautiful son just 4 days before Mother’s Day. I am so thankful for all of my family and friends that were there for me through my entire pregnancy and have help ease my worries and fears. Because of your support and strength from God I am able to sit here now and stare at my amazing little boy and finally feel like a real mother. 

This picture perfectly captures the moment immediately after Cameron was born:


It was a delicate pregnancy.  She was listed as high risk because of her prior pregnancy.  It meant more doctor visits than usual, a regular OB and a high risk one.  Also her nerves always being on edge and she's also somewhat of a self proclaimed hypochondriac LOL.  There were some ups and downs with the baby's father along the way and the weeks leading up to his birth were full of uncertainties about his presence and involvement in the birth of his first born son.  I am happy to report that he was there through it all and he's demonstrated that he will be.  If I'm being honest my biggest concern all along was for my daughter, to make sure that she was loved and would be taken care of the way she deserves to be. 
Well this picture captures the very moment when I knew everything was going to be okay.














Now let's meet Cameron, our little rainbow after the storm.



Mother's Day 2019 has been a very special day for my family.  We have this new little blessing to celebrate and love on. 

That's it for now.

Empty Spaces

Hello everyone.  Here's our most recent picture from my visit last week.
Time for an update so here goes.  This post is titled empty spaces because these days I’m constantly surrounded by empty spaces.  Back in November prior to our visa appointment I frantically cleaned out closets and drawers to make room for my husbands things.  Our appointment was on December 3^rd so I knew that he’d be home for the holidays.  Well it’s now over four months later and those spaces I cleared for him are still empty.  The space on his side of the bed, empty.  His side of the closet, empty.  The drawers I cleaned out for him, all empty.  The presents I had for him for Christmas are still wrapped and waiting for him to come open them.  They are still in the living room right next to where the tree had been.  Although these spaces are empty and I’m sad sometimes my heart is full.  Yes I’m angry at times because we seem to be stuck in this administrative processing cycle with his visa application, my heart is still full of love and hope. 

Update on the visa shenanigans is that more documents submitted on March 5^th and then again on April 2^nd.  Each time we receive the call or the email asking for more documentation it’s so frustrating.  I think this last time I cried for a solid hour.  Despite all of this I know that I am so blessed.  During the last snow storm I was in a particularly bad mood.  I was mad that I woke up alone and had to shovel the snow alone and drive to work in the snow alone (I hate driving in the snow).  I was texting my daughters and complaining about it all and my youngest daughter sent me this message:

Mom things aren’t exactly how you want them to be and I understand that but you have a lot to be grateful for.  You woke up today, you’re physically able to shovel because at some points in your life you weren’t able to.  You have a job to drive in the snow to be late to.  You have a husband that loves you like you’ve always wanted, even though he’s not physically with  you right now.

Upon  receiving this message from my daughter I had an instant attitude adjustment.  Of course everything she said was true but more than that I was so proud that my daughter was able to help me to remember just how blessed I was.  I’m keeping myself busy working, my new job is okay.  It’s kinda slow right now but I’m hopeful things will pick up soon.  I’m also helping my mother out with her parenting classes in the evenings so my schedule is busy.  Monday through Thursday I leave the house at 7 am and don’t return until around 9 pm.  It’s a hectic schedule but I don’t mind it much because being in the house alone for too much time allows me to focus on those empty spaces. 

I've also been focusing on helping my youngest daughter prepare for the birth of her baby boy, Cameron.  He's due May 13th but she's convinced that he's coming sooner.  We'll see. Here is a picture of us together at her baby shower a few weeks ago.  

I miss my husband very much.  These past few months have been a big adjustment for both of us.  Since we got married we had  never  been apart longer than a few weeks.  That’s changed now.  Over the holidays we were apart for five weeks and most recently we were apart for 8 weeks.  I’ve just returned from a  brief visit and at this point there are no plans for me to return.  We expect to submit the final requested documents and get approved for his visa so that he can join me here.

That's all for now.  I will try to stay in touch more often.

Thanks for stopping by.

Terri D.

Dominican Housewife Chronicles - Fresh start

Hello everyone.  It's been a few weeks so I thought it was time for an update.  The short version is we still do not have his visa. He's there and I'm here back in Pennsylvania.  You may recall that I retired from my career at a large health insurance company in April 2017 after 27 years of service.  When I walked out of the office on my last day I had no idea where I would end up but I felt confident that I could make the best use of my severance time (18 months).  Well here I am almost two years later and I'm once again retiring.  I've spent the past year or so being a Dominican Housewife and I'm hanging up my cleaning gloves (I don't wear an apron) and I'm headed back into the workforce tomorrow.  I have bittersweet emotions about this turn of events.  The sweet is that it's a new adventure and apparently according to those close to me I like adventure.  The bitter is multi faceted. 1) I miss my husband because he is still in the Dominican Republic dealing with all of the visa shenanigans.  After we submitted the requested additional documents in January we were asked to provide even more documentation.  It's very unsettling not knowing when I will see my husband again.  2) This isn't where I thought I'd end up.  3) I'm not giving up on my goals but I feel that I must be a responsible adult now and return to work.  No more playing in the sun and sand for me for a little while, but I will find my way back to it I promise you.

I will continue to write and blog of course.  I will also continue to grow my non profit, A Blessing For You. We are always in need of supplies so please spread the word and visit our website for more information or to make a donation www.ablessingforyou.org

This is a short update.  Please keep us in prayer and we remain hopeful that this visa situation will be resolved soon and he can join me here. 

Until next time be blessed.
Terri D

Dominican Housewife Chronicles - 2019 is here so now what?

Greetings my friends.  This is my first post of the new year.  This picture is the first picture that we took in the new year together when I returned to the Dominican Republic.

I purposely took off in January to reflect on all of my prior posts.  I didn't make any new year resolutions or start any fad diets (although I did join a new fitness club).  I started the year off with great expectations that January would be my month to build my plan and I would execute my plan throughout the year.  Well guess what y'all?  It's the first of February and well lets say there isn't really a plan yet.

I was in Pennsylvania for five weeks.  The longest period of time that I've ever spent away from my husband since we were married.  Did you know that everything you did in the prior year to get things organized and situated in your house could be completely undone in just 5 short weeks?  Yes my friends I am here to tell you that it's true.  Leave your husband alone for that period of time and you will be amazed at just how creative he can be.  I'm pretty sure he was planning on becoming a scientist based on what I found in the refrigerator.  It looked like a 6th grade science experiment gone horribly wrong LOL. 

I did get a lot accomplished during my time in Pennsylvania and it felt good but as for formulating a plan.  Well that part I'm still struggling with because I still feel that I'm in limbo.  We still do not have a visa for my husband yet and that my friends is the key to what the future holds for me and my husband.  Its hard to come up with a solid plan when you have no clue which country you are going to be in. I'm sure you can understand my dilemma.

So the update on the visa saga is that he finally obtained all of the additional documents and submitted them for review on January 24th.  Now we wait again for them to review everything and determine next steps.  We could be required to submit more documents, attend another interview or they can issue him a visa.  We have no clue when we will be notified of the outcome so again we wait.  You know I will keep you all posted on that.

My time here in the Dominican Republic is going to be short as I still have many obligations to attend to back in Pennsylvania.  A few things that are a part of my incomplete plan are continuing to write of course and working to secure more sponsors and donations for my non profit organization.  If you would like to learn more about my non profit or possibly make a donation please visit our website
www.ablessingforyou.org

Also to obtain a signed copy of my latest book titled Passport Wife or any of my other titles please visit my author website
www.authorterrid.com

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks again for stopping by and stayed tuned for more from your favorite Dominican Housewife.

Dominican Housewife Chronicles - Flight 2019 ready for take off

Hello Friends,

My final post in 2018 I would like to share these thoughts with you.  As 2018 comes to a close I think about the fact that I'm not exactly where I wanted to be right now but I'm also not where I was this time last year.  I'm not talking about my physical location I'm talking about my growth.  I look back over all the things that have happened in 2018 and there were losses, I lost friends and close friends lost loved ones and friends but there were also many gains, which I like to refer to as blessings.  Many family members and close friends welcomed new babies and grand babies into their lives.  Where there is loss there are also gains in life.  I think about how I spent 260 of 365 days this year in the Dominican Republic with my husband.  Although I've been very sad about not being able to spend Christmas and New Years with him this year I was so blessed to be able to spend the majority of the year with him.  This was our last picture together in 2018 the day before I left to come back for the holidays. 

 

As I said before I'm not exactly where I wanted to be but I am headed in the right direction.  I wish you all a Happy New Year and I do wish that you were all able to focus on the blessings and get your goals lined up for 2019 and start working on them as soon as you can.  I'm going to be spending more time with my mom working on our combined business goals. Here is a picture of mom and I from Christmas.

This was posted on Facebook by a friend of mine.  I borrowed it (with permission) and it received very good feedback so I thought I share it here with you as well.

Hello, welcome to Flight #2019. We are prepared to take off into the New Year. Please make sure your Attitude and Blessings are secured and locked in an upright position. All self-destructive devices should be turned off at this time. All negativity, hurt and discouragement should be put away. Should we lose Altitude under pressure, during the flight, reach up and pull down a Prayer. Prayers will automatically be activated by Faith. Once your Faith is activated you can assist other passengers. There will be NO BAGGAGE allowed on this flight. The Captain (GOD) has cleared us for takeoff. Destination GREATNESS. Repost and book your flight!!!❤️❤️ Yessssss I have already purchased my ticket! !!!!!!!! I'M BUCKLED IN AND READY FOR TAKEOFF!!!!