This post is titled Ready for my next chapter and I choose this picture of me which was taken several years ago because it perfectly expresses my current state. In this photo I'm on a cruise I'm enjoying the scenery while I wait for the next activity.
It’s time for an update although there isn’t really much to report. I’m still here and he’s still there. We hit yet another bump in the road with his visa BUT we’re not giving up yet. We are going to fight until…. We haven’t decided what the breaking point will be but I guess we’ll know when we get there. I’m preparing to go visit my hubby in a few days. I’m happy to be able to spend my birthday with him again this year. This has been the longest period of time we’ve been apart to this point in our relationship. It’s not getting any easier but we’re both committed to seeing the visa process through and to making our marriage work. We’re way past the distance makes the heart grow fonder stage. I remain very thankful for the time we did have together right after we were married. We know each other well and as I’ve mentioned before we have a good balance. When he’s feeling low I can support us both and vice versa. To this point we’ve been able to take turns freaking out LOL.
I appreciate all of the support, prayers and well wishes I receive from everyone. I’m in awe at times of how many people are actually following my journey. Many times I feel like I’m in this all alone, well with my husband of course. In the grand scheme of things there are very few people who have experienced anything like this so I guess it’s normal to feel somewhat alone. You’d be amazed at how many people ask, “Why can’t he just come here to visit you?” Oh my I wish he could trust me but the reality is that he cannot leave his country at all without a visa. American’s don’t realize how good we have it. Get your passport and you can go almost anywhere. The citizens of other less fortunate countries have to suffer through the visa process. Recently I was at the nail salon and the owner asked me how it was going. I began to complain about how long it’s taking, it’s been a year and a half etc. She listened but then pointed to another young woman and said, “She’s been waiting almost five years for her husband to get here.” Needless to say I felt horrible for complaining about my situation when although we’ve been waiting for a year and a half for his visa, the majority of that time we were together and I’ve been able to visit him every few months. This poor woman hasn’t been able to see her husband. It was the reminder I needed to count my blessings.
The closer it is to my trip it seems the worse I feel. Of course I miss my husband dearly and I can’t wait to see him but I think I’m already anticipating how hard it’s going to be to leave him again. I remember how hard it was leaving him in the beginning of our relationship. Then at some point it got easier because I was only leaving for short periods of time, to come back to PA to visit my family here but the Dominican Republic was my home base. I think it’s getting harder and harder to go there now because I left mentally six months ago. When I came back in February to start working again I literally brought back almost everything I had there in anticipation of my husband joining me here soon. Well soon has been over six months now and there’s no end in sight. So I’ve been a little down lately. A good friend/coworker is always doing what she can to lift my spirits. We work together so she sees me and my mood every day. The other day I was especially down and she reminded me that “You can’t eat the fruit the same day you plant the seed.” Then she reminded me that “The only day on the calendar that matters is today.” Last but not least she told me that “No matter how good or bad something is, it always changes.” Today I’m feeling a little better and she sent me the following text message:
“ It’s like the night before Christmas. You can’t sleep but you know the only way for the next day to come it to go to sleep. You’re ready to be in the Dominican Republic and you’re ready to never have to go back to the Dominican Republic. You’re ready for the next chapter.”
I couldn’t have expressed it better myself.
Although I’m ready for the next chapter I’m also very aware of the fact that tomorrow isn’t promised and that spending too much time planning for the future isn’t the best use of the time I have today. I’m not throwing all caution to the wind and just living my life for today BUT I plan to make good use of every minute that I get to spend with my husband on this upcoming trip. He will get his visa one day or he won’t but no matter what the outcome our time together no matter what country that’s in is our time together.
Well that's all for now. I'll post again after my trip. Blessings to you all and remember to appreciate all the moments as they come.
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